How can i get my ex boyfriend to commit?

Trying to get "girlfriend" status?

How can i get my ex boyfriend to commit?

Postby Artemis23 » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:32 pm

Hi i am in a very complicated situation where my ex broke up with me saying he wants to be alone and doesnt want to be with anyone.we were friends first before we start to grow on eachother and start dating then the breakup was sudden.there wasnt another woman involved its just that he had been enaged a good couple months ago and seems to have committment relationship issues.we still continued talking and then that turned into an ex with benefits kind of deal.we have sex with eachother alone and not seeing anyone else and he treats me like a girlfriend with the committment relationship label.i fell in love with him and put up with how things were for a bit until i feel i wanted more and deserve more cuz he kept telling the world he is single and not dating anyone.we confide in eachother alot and sometimes we dont even sleep together when we hang out we just cuddle and fall asleep and we go to brunch dates.he cant keep his hands off me and we even shower together and he gives me massages whenever i need one and the sex is off the charts.then i told him i cant do this friends with benfits thing with him anymore cuz i want more.i want to be in a relationship and he says thats he doesnt want a relationship and is sorry if i felt like he used me.i told him we can just be friends.the night when i told him that i cant have sex with him unless we are dating he seems visibly upset and today he says that he will leave me alone for awhile and talk to me later.i was like ok if thats what you want.i know he wouldnt totally stop talking to me or i wouldnt stop talking to him so i think i will do the no contact rule and sees if he misses me and talk to me again.he broke up with me and yet either of us cant move on from eachother so i feel there is something actually there.he was engaged and dnt even talk to any of exes at all not even on a friendship level but he seems to want me around.i dont want to lose him should i give him his space and see if he comes around?because i understand the no committment issue cuz he was enagaed and had a string of bad relationships.he seems afraid i will hurt him but want to keep me around
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Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2012 2:27 pm

Re: How can i get my ex boyfriend to commit?

Postby xiiwoman » Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:27 am

You can't.

I don't know if you've read the paragraph you just wrote but right now he has some commitment issues.

He doesn't know how to handle it, so he's going to a familiar place (which is a physical + emotional bond you both shared)

He doesn't want to commit again, he just wants that sense of security before he sets out again

It's as simple as that

Other details just makes it messy and tangled
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Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:43 pm

Re: How can i get my ex boyfriend to commit?

Postby thatpunkdaisy » Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:11 pm

They call them ex's for a reason hun. I know it sux. I was in love with my ex two years post our relationship, he did leave me for his nasty ex fiancee who had a fat bf and two kids by the fat bf and none from my ex, and I have yet to love anyone else to this day, nor do I see myself loving them as hard as I loved him. The fact remains like I had to move on so do you. It will take time and healing. You must first allow yourself the time to heal and then love again, or at least try to.
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Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:41 pm

Re: How can i get my ex boyfriend to commit?

Postby angelface » Wed Oct 24, 2012 10:40 am

Im having the sam exact issue
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Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 10:33 am

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