I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

"Help! I’m so confused."

I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby bebe816 » Mon May 28, 2012 10:57 am

[5/23/2012] 10:12:45 AM] Be:well i have question?
[5/23/2012 10:12:45 AM] ace.: wassup?
[5/23/2012 10:12:49 AM] Be: have you ever thought about being in a relationship with me?
[5/23/2012 10:12:55 AM] Be: be honest
[5/23/2012 10:13:05 AM] ace.: yea i have
[5/23/2012 10:13:26 AM] Be: i thought about being in another relationship. it's been awhile
[5/23/2012 10:13:50 AM] Be: you just seem real
[5/23/2012 10:14:14 AM] Bee: ii know that you will treat me good
[5/23/2012 10:15:12 AM] ace.: wem is yo bday again?
[5/23/2012 10:15:17 AM] Be: i just want a guy to show me that he different from the rest
[5/23/2012 10:15:20 AM] Be: sep24
[5/23/2012 10:15:35 AM] ace.: libra?
[5/23/2012 10:15:39 AM] Be: i know you just had a bday
[5/23/2012 10:15:42 AM] Be: yep
[5/23/2012 10:17:23 AM] Be: i never forgot
[5/23/2012 10:17:27 AM] Be: your bday
[5/23/2012 10:17:31 AM] ace.: i think my job n my lifestyle
[5/23/2012 10:17:42 AM] ace.: would get in da way of us
[5/23/2012 10:17:46 AM] ace.: bein together
[5/23/2012 10:18:00 AM] Be: why you said that?
[5/23/2012 10:18:17 AM] ace.: i dont know if i could be yo man cuz u get kinda crazy wen i dont call or u dont hear from me
[5/23/2012 10:18:25 AM] ace.: or if u dont see me
[5/23/2012 10:18:31 AM] Be: no
[5/23/2012 10:18:37 AM] Be: i changed a lot
[5/23/2012 10:18:51 AM] ace.: n u be doin sneaky stuff tryna catch me up wen i aint doin nun
[5/23/2012 10:19:04 AM] Be: thats the past
[5/23/2012 10:19:17 AM] ace.: ok but i'd have to see that u have changed
[5/23/2012 10:19:34 AM] Be: right now i am focusing on school before a relationship, just another year left. I got to get myself together
[5/23/2012 10:19:38 AM] ace.: i cant just hop inna relationship wit u
[5/23/2012 10:19:47 AM] Be: i can understand that
[5/23/2012 10:19:52 AM] Be: really i can
[5/23/2012 10:20:06 AM] Be: i know that you overseas finghting for us
[5/23/2012 10:20:26 AM] Be: a relationship can wait
[5/23/2012 10:20:29 AM] Be: fighting sorry
[5/23/2012 10:20:30 AM] Be: lol
[5/23/2012 10:20:56 AM] ace.: i aint gon lie i mean i wouldnt mind us goin to da movies n out to eat n us doin it wen i get back n if errthang go good wit no issues den eventually we could be more n be a real couple
[5/23/2012 10:21:15 AM] Be: ok
[5/23/2012 10:21:17 AM] ace.: but i cant just hop in head first n not know at least wat we gettin ourselves into
[5/23/2012 10:21:27 AM] Be: right
[5/23/2012 10:21:37 AM] Be: i understand that completely
[5/23/2012 10:22:11 AM] Be: right now i am just taking the time out on getting to know me. What i want and what i don't want
bebe816
 
Posts: 166
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 3:25 pm

Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby mcnyc » Mon May 28, 2012 1:37 pm

:D Hi Bebe.

It's obvious he might kind of like you. But I do get the feeling reading your convo that you seem to have some sort of reputation? Have you been a "bad girl", gurl?
He obviously is telling you he can hang out with you BUT that he doesn't trust you enough to date you or take you seriously due to something you've done in the past. And since he doesn't want to get hurt, he's telling you he needs to see that you've really changed and that takes time. He's also telling you he has other things he wants to do right now and by his "lifestyle" he means easy available booty that doesn't require extra time or effort.
He's also referring to your emotional personality "you-get-crazy-when-i-don't-call-you-talk-to-you" and it's clear he doesn't want you hovering over him.
That's what up.
mcnyc
 
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Joined: Fri May 04, 2012 12:33 pm

Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby bebe816 » Mon May 28, 2012 2:54 pm

I have been a bad girl by tripping with him when he is in the military but, it was the past. We are just friends right now and haven't had sex yet. I know at this point he can't trust me to be in relationship or just to date at this time until he can see that I won't be tripping with him since he is in the military. I do like him enough tho and I know he likes me.
bebe816
 
Posts: 166
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 3:25 pm

Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby mcnyc » Mon May 28, 2012 3:15 pm

:D Hi Bebe.

By all means you should not trip, but there's a difference between tripping and hovering. And I feel the dude is trying to tell you that he doesn't need you to do either.
You say you know he likes you, but liking is such an unspesific term to describe something and yet it can be used to describe just about anything under the sun.

You have yourself a guy who has trust issues with you and who is expecting results, tough one I'm afraid, but maybe you just love that challenge about him, I have no idea.

If you want to impress him, tone down the "where-you-been-when-you-was-not-on-the-phone-last-night-and-I-was-tryna-call-you" type behavior. Don't try to keep him under your thumb, if you want to convince him about your realness, you need to do the opposite you've been doing so far. He needs to chase you, saying that you think he likes you back, why wouldn't he? ;)

You need to relax and take those emotions under control. A man will fall inlove with you based on how relaxed and good about himself you make him feel and how much he enjoys being in your company. If you interrogate him and show lack of trust, it's not very enjoyable is it. Would you enjoy half the stuff you do to him, is my question to you? No? So do something about it. ;)
mcnyc
 
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Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby bebe816 » Mon May 28, 2012 3:25 pm

You sure right, how can I get him to chase me to feel comfortable with me?
bebe816
 
Posts: 166
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 3:25 pm

Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby mcnyc » Mon May 28, 2012 3:53 pm

:D Hi Bebe.

As far as I've experienced a guy gets interested in a girl if she let's him chase her so you'll have to tone down your level of interest to a minimum and act really cool, not get emotional, not talk too much and not explain everything you do. Pretty much you have to hold off your interest and pretend to be carefree. Don't try to make him jealous though talking about all the men that might hit on you.

You can tease him a little. You don't have to be serious, in fact it did you a huge favor if you'd started being playful and hard to guess from time to time. You should end convo first most of the time so he'd feel repelled to wonder what you're doing.

The way you get a man to chase you is when you spark his interest and men love a challenge, I think since he's in a military, he would appreciate it even more. You need to be a bit more secretive and not so forward talking, you know. Purr, don't meow all the time.

You have to be feminine, I don't know if you are or not, but upgrade that.
Next thing you need to not care so much about him, be like you don't mind his company but not overly eager.
Never invest more time or effort into a relationship than the man you're dating (you guys are sort of dating so that's why I say that). Right now you're doing MOST of the work and he's complaining because there's virtually no challenge, and he hasn't really done anything to deserve your attention like that.

The man is telling you that you need to make a huge change that is visible to his eye and mind, if you're ever to stand a chance being his gf. So that's what you'll need to do-do the opposite you've been doing and let him watch it. You don't have to change your moral value system or your entire personality, he likes that about you, you just need to make a few adjustments to your approach to him, that's what he's talking about.
mcnyc
 
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Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby mcnyc » Mon May 28, 2012 4:02 pm

Instead of thinking "Date me date me date MEEEE" be like "O so you think I should date YOU? Let's see what you bring to the table first, player".
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Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby bebe816 » Mon May 28, 2012 4:09 pm

Lol or more like, "let me ask you a question, what can you bring to the table?" Is that good?
bebe816
 
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Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby mcnyc » Mon May 28, 2012 5:05 pm

Sounds good to me. ;)
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Re: I want to be with this guy, do he want me?

Postby bebe816 » Mon May 28, 2012 6:15 pm

what if i tell him i don't care if he talks to other girls because, we are not together at the moment? I am interested in him but, i dont want to put in more effort than him. I told him a relationship can wait because, i am focusing on me and school. I want to put more spark to make him chase me more lol. I know all i can do is not care too much. I want to say, i am dating other men right now until a guy really wants to be with me. should i say that or no. I dont want him to lose interest in me. He got jealous before when he thought i was on the phone talking to a guy on the phone. How should i tease him? sexually? like rolling my tongue that he likes when i lick my lips? lol
bebe816
 
Posts: 166
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 3:25 pm


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