Is he ignoring me or I am overreacting?

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Is he ignoring me or I am overreacting?

Postby haileybbyx » Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:02 pm

Last Sunday (December 4th) I met this guy on an online dating site. (He is 25 and Im 18) We began talking through there and after exchanging a few messages, I ultimately asked for his number. That night we texted like crazy and even set up a movie date at his house for Monday (Very Soon I know). Well Monday night rolls around and he picks me up and we go to his house. During the movie he ends up grabbing my hand and holding it, sending sparks throughout my body (cheesy, but true). He also kissed me, causing the same effect. Well that night he asked me to spend the night at his house and I said yes. Well that night we ended up sleeping together. When he took me home the next morning, I texted him asking if he felt anything because before he mentioned he met someone online before but they didnt feel anything so they went their separate ways. He said he "had a good vibe" and that we should hang out again this week. So we set a date for Thursday night (December 8th)\ at his house so he could cook for me. Things basically went down like they did the first night we met. Yes we did sleep together again. However, ever since our last encounter he seems to be texting me less and less. Today he hasnt even texted me at all, despite me texting him. I asked him if he wanted to hang out tonight and he never replied. I am use to him not replying a lot during the week because he works, but I thought he was off on the weekends. Do you think he is ignoring me and that I should just move on? I mean, I feel a lot for this guy... Or do you think I am overreacting just because he didnt text me today....
Also I seem to be the person to always initiate the texting... Should I stop and let him text me?
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Re: Is he ignoring me or I am overreacting?

Postby jan259 » Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:30 am

Yes stop texting. Give it time to breathe.
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Re: Is he ignoring me or I am overreacting?

Postby freya40 » Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:03 am

Hi,
I think stop texting him, ignore some of his texts. I think the mistake you're making is sleeping with him when he invites you over, you are too intimate too soon. I don't think there is anything wrong with it myself because if you feel like doing something you should but unfortunately guys are different creatures! He will just keep arranging things at his house and you'll end up the same way.
when he contacts you saying I want to take you out then that is something to respond too otherwise I'm afraid he is doing the usual guy thing. You have to show him you don't care even if you do!
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Re: Is he ignoring me or I am overreacting?

Postby bridget307 » Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:28 pm

As an older woman please learn from this and move on. For the future, NEVER sleep with a guy on the first few dates especially someone you meet online for your own safety. Second, women who sleep with men too quickly are NEVER considered girlfriend/wife material by guys because even if a woman says "I've never done this type of thing before" guys never believe it. They don't want the thought that their girlfriend/potential wife slept with someone else on the first date. Whether you want to believe it or not the double standard still exists. If a guy is truly into you, he will wait. Remember you hold all the cards. If you just want a one-night stand, go for it but if you're looking for a deep emotional relationship, hold off on the sex.
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Re: Is he ignoring me or I am overreacting?

Postby Guinevere » Fri Dec 30, 2011 4:25 am

I think reiterating that point about sleeping with a guy too early is needed here. Basically when you have sex with a guy so early he isn't going to see you as relationship material - why should he? He's got everything he wants from you so he has no motivation to push for a deeper relationship.
I know it seems such a cliché to hold back from sex, and I know how hard it is when you feel that intense spark. But you really need to see this as a long term investment. Hold off from the sexual side and focus on the emotional side, it will only work in your favour.
By doing this you allow yourself and him time to learn about each other, it gives you both a chance to fall in love.

As for the texting - pull back. Focus on your life, focus on other men/dates and stop making him your priority as you definitely are not his. Perhaps in a couple weeks send him a "hey, how are you?" message, but stop initiating - you're giving him all the power by doing so and undermining yourself in the process.
Also remember - if a guy is interested in you aside from just sex, he will move mountains to see you, too message you or to phone you, if he's sporadic with his contact, chances are he's not that into you.
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