Why does he say he misses me?

"Help! I’m so confused."

Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Nikagurl419 » Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:10 pm

So I'm 32 I've recently met someone who is 37 on a dating site. We hit it off right away. And the first week of knowing eachother we saw eachother everyday.. even if it was just for coffee after work. We had an instant connection and both of us have expressed a desire for a relationship with eachother.... The issue is that we had a date 6 days ago and haven't seen eachother since. It's driving me crazy because I want nothing more to see him, even for an hour. He's texting me everyday telling me how much he misses me and wants to see me too... but has made NO attempt to see me or to make plans to see me. I'm starting to feel really frustrated because I've made myself availible for him and I feel like if he REALLY wanted to see me he would. What should I do? I don't want to screw this up and I like him so much but I'm starting to get my feelings hurt. :(
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Pahina » Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:16 pm

When he says he misses you and wants to see you, ask him if he wants to meet up for coffee or dinner later (or sometime during the week). If he won't commit to any plans with you, then you can start to suspect that something is up.
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Nikagurl419 » Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:27 pm

I've offered that I am available to meet up ... pretty much every day since our date 6 days ago. He has an excuse every day.. todays excuse is...(this is the Text I recieved)
I asked " What do you have planned for this fine Tuesday?

His responce " Just got out of a sales meeting.... I have the gym right after work, I'm meeting with a trainer tonight, so it will be a long night at the gym... I'm sorry I'm so busy... I do miss you..."

I told him that I kinda feel like he's trying to blow me off.. and he tells me "No I am absolutely NOT blowing you off" WTF does this mean? If you want to see me you'd squeeze me in somewhere right?

Am I just being TOO availible? I'm a very straight up person and I don't have a clue how to play game with a guy I like.... and I have no desire to. What do I do to get him IN to me again?
Nikagurl419
 
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Pahina » Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:12 pm

I would agree that if he missed you and wanted to see you, he'd squeeze you in.
I've done the online thing and played the game many times. Unfortunately, it sounds like he's dating and possibly sleeping with others (long night at the gym?) , but he wants to keep you as an option too. AND, he knows you're available whenever.
Start doing your own thing, make a few dates with other guys, be less available, and maybe neglect to answer a few texts here and there...or at least don't answer them right away.
He'll definitely start to wonder whats up and you'll probably notice he'll be a little more available for you.
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Nikagurl419 » Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:33 pm

I sent him a text today telling him that I hope he has a great week because I won't be availible to hang out all week. I'm just to busy with a date tonight, Tai Kwon Do, skate night, another date and my sons birthday this weekend. Its too bad we can't get together because I really wanted to see you. He's already being more responsive to me... DUDE MEN are stupid!!!! Why should I have to lie about dating other men to make the one I want more interested in me? erg.
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Pahina » Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:00 pm

Awesome!! :D
I'd be a little more mysterious though...don't readily tell him you have a date. He might just think you're trying to make him jealous and that could backfire.
I would just not text or call him at all, wait until he calls and asks what you've been up to, then tell him about your astoundingly busy week (exclude any info about dates with men...make him wonder) and just ask how he's been...don't even mention getting together. I bet he'll do that on his own!
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Nikagurl419 » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:02 pm

SO this guy is so darn conflicted and confused!! I have been giving him his space. I don't call or text him first and I'm waiting about 30-45 min to answer his messages so as not to seem too eager... or like I'm waiting around for him to call or text. I have no contact with him all day yesterday.... and at about 4:00 pm he finally messages me "Hey you... How are you doing today?" I wait about an hour and message him back "Oh hey sorry I didn't notice your message till just now. What's up?"
NO response from him whatsoever. So I assume my message didn't go through. So I resend it about an hour later (2 hours now after his message). He messages me back immediately saying "Nothing" (weird response) so I message him back "Are you ok? You seem a little down. I miss your smile" No Response... so I try to call him. It goes straight to his vm, I leave just a brief message asking him to call me back when he has a min. No call back. I text him an hour later "Will you call me? Please"
He responds "I'm driving I can't right now..." He never calls me.

So the next morning I message "Are you mad at me? Why don't you want to talk to me anymore? If your done please just tell me... instead of avoiding and confusing me." an hour later I get this text.

"I'm a little upset, but it’s going to be fine.... Monica I like you, I want to see you, but I need you to understand I am busy and I know you are too, I'm trying to figure it all out. I do want to see you... We have a great connection... Does that make sense? "

I haven't responded because all I want to do is tell him "NO It doesn't make sense?!! I'm giving you space and time to figure things out. YOU messaged me! And now you’re acting like I'm being pushy or overbearing with you?" I wanna tell him to "Take the time to figure out what the Hell he wants and when he decides that it’s me let me know and we'll see if I'm still available!!"

But I DO NOT want to drive him away... I care about him so much and I'm hurting and feeling really rejected right now and don't want to damage our "relationship" because I say something stupid or dismissive because I'm upset.

WHAT DO I DO ????
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby Pahina » Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:27 pm

Personally, I'd dump this guy. With an excuse like "i'm trying to figure it all out"...figure what out, if he wants to go on a date with you? Sorry, but if he needs to take so much time to decide that, then he needs to go.
It honestly sounds to me like he's seeing someone else, but wants to keep you on the back burner just in case it doesn't work out. Are you sure he's not married or living with someone? They could have been away the first week you met.
I'd send him a final text that says,"When you get it all figured out, call me...I might answer."
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby DianaHSlater » Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:32 pm

Pahina wrote:When he says he misses you and wants to see you, ask him if he wants to meet up for coffee or dinner later (or sometime during the week). If he won't commit to any plans with you, then you can start to suspect that something is up.



;) i agree :)
Become the kind of Man that can Attract Ladies with out the deceptive and manipulative Pick Up Artist techniques.
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Re: Why does he say he misses me?

Postby lagirl » Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:16 pm

You don't want to "drive him away?" What is it that is so great about this guy that you can't stand losing?

I don't see it. I don't read it in your posts.

I would move on. You are way more invested in him than he is with you....
Plenty of other guys out there that YOU don't have to chase. :D
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